Dear Diary
by Megaloo
Summary: Smoker/Ace and Shanks/Ben. There's something about men who keep diaries...Or "journals."


Right well. This would be another 30-minute challenge. Prompt: Dear Diary. And unlike most things I've written, intensely shippy. Nothing graphic though. Just a lot of innuendo. Enjoy!

* * *

_'Dear diary…Really what an idiotic way to start a journal entry. Dear diary. Right. Today I was once again foiled in my attempts to catch those damned Straw Hat Pirates…why am I not just writing a report? Oh right. Because Tashigi seems to think this is "good for my mental health." Well, that didn't work. Again. Mental health OR capture. They're still on the loose. And it doesn't seem like this is going to change anytime soon so is it really WORTH pursuing even? Of course. Justice must be served and I will be the one to serve it because no one else has enough brain to rub together to even make the attempt. Except m—'_

"You know, only complete lunatics, girls, or people with a sword shoved seriously far up their ass write in _diaries_, taisa."

Smoker slammed the book closed and whirled to glare at the pirate now standing just inside his window.

"Portgas," he grumbled in a low voice.

"Miss me so much you had to confide your deepest, darkest secrets to a little…was that pink? Book?" Ace smirked and made a grab for the book as Smoker tried to shove it into a desk drawer. "Not too smart, are you?"

"Paper is flammable. And it was _red_, color blind idiot." He shoved the drawer closed and turned the lock quickly. "And I was _not_ writing about how much I missed you or whatever else you've come up with in that bratty head of yours."

"Fine, fine, I won't snoop into your _deepest, darkest secrets_ then. Stuffy old man." Ace shrugged and made himself comfortable on the marine's neatly-made bed. Which entailed making it the exact opposite of neat _very quickly_. "But you did miss me, didn't you? You big girl."

Smoker frowned, not about to give in to the idiotic insults. But he really couldn't expect anything better from a bratty pirate with too much confidence.

"I am not a girl."

"You keep a _diary_." The thought was never going to stop being amusing.

"It wasn't my idea."

"Only _girls_ or guys with something shoved up their ass keep diaries. Last I checked, you weren't either of those. Though I'd be happy to double check in case that changed?" Ace leaned forward, wrapping a tendril of fire around Smoker's torso. "_More_ than happy to.

Smoker sighed, defeated as he was pulled towards the bed. He_ had_ missed the brat, but wasn't about to admit it.

"Fine, I'll shove something up _your_ ass and we'll forget this ever happened."

Ace smirked.

"Though I don't see _you_ keeping a diary."

"Not the sort of thing up my ass I'm talking about."

Smoker decided he didn't_ really_ want to know after all.

----

Ben was at it again. Every night. Writing in that damn little book. This had to be at LEAST the fifth one he'd owned over the years he'd been sailing with Shanks and it had always been a source of amusement.

"Girl."

"Be quiet, I'm trying to write here."

"You do it _every night_. Can't you give it a rest? It's not going anywhere."

Ben looked up to fix his captain with a glare. "Last time you said that about something, I found my favorite, half cleaned boots hanging from the rigging."

Shanks grinned. That had been fun. And had worked, unlike tonight.

"I have rum?"

"No thank you."

"I stole your cigarettes?"

Ben tapped the breast pocket where his cigarettes were still safely stashed. Shanks cursed.

"Can you _please_ stop?"

Ben began to narrate as he wrote. "Let's see, I sail with the most annoying, horny bastard on the face of the seas who cannot allow his first mate _ten minutes peace_ to record the events of the day. But this has been stated. Almost every entry for the past ten years. One day, perhaps this will change. Perhaps when he falls overboard in a fit of drunkenness."

"That's a terrible entry. Why don't you write something like 'I have the sexiest captain on all of the seas who is tempting me away from my boring writing now and has been standing behind me in nothing but his skin for the last five minutes but I have the…the…restraint of something with a lot of restraint and _haven't even looked_."

Ben blinked and looked over his shoulder.

Shanks grinned. "Made you look!" Ben huffed and turned back to his journal. Only to find it missing.

"Damned, sneaky, one-armed bastard." Shanks waved the book happily.

"Bed. Now. Or I'll come up with somewhere creative to put this too."

Ben sighed. Sometimes, you just couldn't argue with the captain's orders.

----

The next day there was a letter from Ace, arrived by gull.

"Shanks—

You were right. The prissy old men with diaries really i are /i awesome in bed.

-Ace"

Shanks laughed and held a party for the new generation. Even if it did make him feel like an old grandpa or something.

Hey, nothing a lot of alcohol and a lot of sex with 'a prissy old man with a diary' couldn't cure.


End file.
